Parents, of all faiths, I need opinions…?
{{Let me say first that I respect all religions, & I do not believe that any religion or faith is "wrong". I think religion is a beautiful thing that can sometimes be warped by people, but is overall a beautiful thing.
Let me also state that I am not interested in hateful answers, or anyone trying to sway my beliefs, I am quite happy with my life. All flaming will be reported!}}
I have been sick lately, & cannot work. A couple of my friends are single parents, so I’ve volunteered to babysit, when needed. I’ve ended up babysitting more than I’d ever expected for a group of siblings, all of whom I love & adore. Their ages are from 2 & a half years to 11 years.
I knew they were being raised in the Protestant Church (as was I), but I never saw it as an issue until last week.
My husband & I are Pagan, my stepson is Christian (He’s 10, we’ve encouraged him to worship in any way he is comfortable, so long as he has good values) & my youngest boy was Christened in the Methodist Church (A family tradition of mine), but is not old enough to claim a religion.
One of the oldest children asked me what my pentacle was & I explained to her that it was like my version of a cross. I cut her off, because I don’t want to confuse her in any way.
Later on, she approached me again about my Ankh necklace & I explained that it was also like a cross, but that it came from the Ancient Egyptians.
She was puzzled, & her younger brother joined the conversation. I tried to skirt the issue & change the subject, but she was so inquisitive.I finally told them a story from the Bible that I love & distracted them with a movie.
I have known their parents since we were all in high school & their mom is not in the picture (long story, but she’s basically a deadbeat & might as well be non-existent in their lives). Their Dad knows that we are pagan & very open about religion & has never instructed us to hide these facts, but he hasn’t told us how to explain them either.
I love these kids dearly & I do not want to lie to them, but I don’t want to upset their dad or drive a wedge between the kids & us either.
How would you broach this situation? Any ideas are greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!
To Chris, Yes, I am fully aware of what the Bible says, I’ve read it hundreds of times, as well as The Book of Mormon, The Apocrypha, & hundreds of other Christian texts, I’m NOT interested in being saved. Jesus happens to be a personal hero of mine, I’m just not Christian. Thanks for caring, but I’m perfectly ok with myself.
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I’d be truthful, they’re just cool looking symbols with no real meaning whatsoever.
talk to the dad
I would simply ask the parents how they would like me to handle that type of situation. That way, the next time it comes up, you know how to handle it better.
They are only asking about the meaning and origin of the symbols, not asking you to convert them. There should be no problem with simply informing them about the symbols and/or practices of other religions
I would start off having a conversation with their parent/s, letting them know what kinds of questions the kids have been asking and what you would like to tell them, and find out if that would be okay.
Curiosity is natural, and I am assuming that the parent/s are accepting of your religion because you are watching the children, but I think you have taken the correct approach so far to deflect the questions. I think the next step is to approach the parents and see what they think, what their comfort levels are, and how they would prefer to handle religiously oriented questions– would they prefer you tell the kids that they should talk to their parents about it, would they prefer you check in with them before explaining something, or do they not mind at all and would be fine with you answering whatever questions might come up? Information is good. Knowing how to approach a topic without crossing any lines IRT other people’s kids is also good! Who knows, they may be fine with it, but it’s best to check in forst.
I know that as an atheist parent I would be pretty irritated if someone was sharing their religion with my kids without asking me first. I would prefer to be let in on the situation before hand so that I could establish some ground rules and/or boundaries, should I deem them to be necessary, you know? Definitely talk to the parent/s.
Answer the questions honestly, there is a difference between explaining your beliefs and imposing them.
Jesus says:
"And whoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in Me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea." Mark 9:42
You’re treading in eternally dangerous water by talking to those children about any of that stuff.
Instead of all the silly pagan beliefs and trinkets, believe in Jesus, who is God and your Creator. Jesus loves you so very much!
The truth about Jesus is that the only way to be saved and to get into heaven and avoid being sent to eternal hell, is by believing in faith alone that Jesus, who is God, died for our sins on the cross as FULL PAYMENT for all our sins, and then Jesus rose from the dead (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Believe this and you will be in heaven, no matter what!
Please pray now: "Jesus, please forgive me of my sins. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and You rose from the dead. Thank You for eternal life!" You will be in heaven with Him forever when you die.
I would bring up the subject with their dad. Tell him what your conversation was with the kids, and ask him how he would like you to handle any future conversations, as you respect how he is raising them.
Talk to the dad. He sounds like a reasonable guy.
Tell him they’re asking questions, and that you’d like to explain to them that people have all kinds of different beliefs, and that you wear these things because they have specific meaning for you. Then tell them what that meaning is.
I don’t see any problem with it…as long as you don’t try to convince them that what you believe is better than what they believe, or anything like that.
Peace.
I would leave it up to the parents. In my opinion religion should be taught at home so explain to their father that they are curious about your symbols of faith. It is his place to teach them what he wants them to know
I’ll say right from the off I’m not a parent, so you may choose to ignore my response.
My advice would be to speak to the father, raising the children is his responsibility so he should have an input on what they’re exposed to. If he says he’s Ok with you telling the kids about your beliefs then do so.
Out of respect for the father’s faith I’d suggest you are careful how you phrase things, talk about beliefs not facts, tie in elements of your faith with elements of his, so wearing an ankh or a pentacle is for you like wearing a cross for people who go to church. You could even use it to lead into talking about how different people have different beliefs.
Personally, I’m a Christian, but I firmly believe knowledge of and exposure to other faiths and beliefs should be an important part of any child’s upbringing. Knowledge is the best counter there is to prejudice and I find understanding other faiths helps strengthen my own.
If you were my personal friends, as a parent I would have talked to my children already about your beliefs and given my kids an overview of your feelings about things. If this parent hasn’t done that (which it sounds like he hasn’t) I would discuss it with him just to ensure that no WALL is created in your friendship that might be caused if he is offended when hearing from his KIDS FIRST that they’ve heard things and don’t understand them etc.
Once that ground work is laid and you know his feelings about the subject then you can feel free to talk to the kids in whatever way and to whatever depth he has told you he is comfortable with. BUT I certainly wouldn’t want someone with very DIFFERENT religious beliefs talking to my YOUNG children without my knowledge! If they were older children and I knew they were strong in their own views, opinions and beliefs and personal faith – then any ones views could be freely offered them because I would know they are grounded within themselves.
SO it sounds like you handled it fine – but to cover yourself with your friend I think you should broach the subject for his take on it too. <why would anyone give me thumbs down? I think I gave a very nice answer!>
Just ignore Chris. People like him are the reason so many people hate Christians and Christianity is on a decline in this country. I agree w/ everyone who said to talk it over w/ the dad first. I don’t see him having any problem w/ you explaining what those symbols mean.
I’m a Christian parent. Personally, I’m OK with people explaining that their beliefs are different and explaining what they believe to my kids. Just as long as they aren’t trying to persuade my kids in ways that they aren’t equipped to handle yet.
I agree that asking the parents how they want it handled is a good thing to do.
I think you handled it fine. You did not set out to preach your religion to those kids, they asked and so you told them as best as you could without indoctrinating them. And if it effects them enough they’ll ask their parents about it and their parents can tell them what they believe is true.
You could also lie a little to the kids and tell them that it’s just a decoration or design, and that’s not a complete lie.